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Jiggery Pokery

Boyband To End All Boybands...
by Mo Aziz

In response to a pop industry saturated with cheery male and female vocal harmony groups, England’s top miserablists have donated their frontmen to a worthy cause. An idea that just might turn off the deluded (and Pop Idol/Fame Academy judges) from the funding and continuation of such factory line ‘music’ crimes has resulted in DepressedLife.

Charts

Essential Indie
by Indeicator

Essential Indie The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses
Screamadelica - Primal Scream
Giant Steps - The Boo Radleys
OK Computer - Radiohead
Lost Souls - Doves

Features
James Bond in the year 2020
by Jimmy TwoTimes
James Bond in the year 2020 Your Bond is my word. Only a couple of contenders as far as I can see for the super spy himself. Both are names that I think have been bandied about a bit already.



At first I was thinking Hugh Jackman, but you gotta think that these are to be in approx 15 years time, and age might well be against him. However Brosnan is nearly 50 now, and while looking a bit more so in ‘Die Another Day’, still has a bit more left in him. But ultimately I’ve put Jackman to one side in the hope that one day he decides to do a ‘Dirty Harry’ type franchise. Yes he’s been compared to Eastwood already, but hot diggity I wanna see him as a maverick cop who plays by his own rules.



So I’ve gone for the number one contender at the moment Clive Owen. A few years back I would have been against it, but since seeing him in ‘Croupier’ you know he’d be cool in the obligatory casino scene, and after ‘The Bourne Identity’ you could believe that he has that vicious edge.



Sticking to a British cast, I think that years down the line, if anyone who watched ‘A Bit of Fry and Laurie’ could still take him seriously, Stephen Fry would be my ‘M’.



Staying in the comedy/actor vein Steve Coogan would make an ideal ‘Q’ –imagine: “pay attention 007…”



If he survived the ‘comedy drop into chimney’ from ‘Moonraker’ and in fact Blofeld did make a return, I can think of no other than Ralph Fiennes. Forget him in ‘Bored In Manhattan’; I’m talking ‘Amon Goeth’ in ‘Schindlers’. Hell he’d even get away with “Sharks with frickin’ laser beams on them”.



The lack of British actresses that would still be a force in 15 years time, leads me to choose Gwyneth Paltrow for ‘MoneyPenny’; I always liked the earlier entries in the franchise, where she was a bit older, a lady, (the VR scene in D.A.D. really took away the image of the MoneyPenny we all grew up with) and she’s one of the few international actresses that could pull off… an English accent.
Contributor: Jimmy TwoTimes

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