I've gone for a Boogie Nights feel on this one. It all started with Heather Graham (as so many things do...) – it seemed a perfect role for her, as the more dialogue she's been given, the worse her film output has been (witness The Guru, Lost in Space, Killing Me Softly), so by rights, if she has NO dialogue, it'll be a cracking good film...right?

The boy Reilly has the curls, and his turn in the film within a film in Boogie Nights shows he can 'do' bad acting - essential for the Hasselhoff role. I concur with Fletch, that this should be an adult rated film, and then we can have William H Macy's car voice throwing out insults at Michael - "You a**hole! Why did you turn down here? I outta horsewhip you with a horsewhip! Michael Knight you're a dumb motherf**ker!"

Burt IS Devon as the silver haired fox giving orders, and staying back at the mansion with 'Foxy chick who doesn't talk but is a scientist – oh yes, she really is'.

How cool would it be to see Hoffman as a Russian psycho??? Take the purring laid back personality from The Talented Mr. Ripley, add the anger from Punch Drunk Love and he must be able to accents (he is one of the most talented character actors around). Stick PT Anderson in the director's chair with his skill and love of all things 'kitsch', and we got ourselves a new franchise!